If you want to boost your influence in a way that reinforces another person’s freedom to choose, keep reading.
Do you like it when somebody tells you what to do?
“Do the dishes.”
“Go to college.”
“Order something other than chicken tenders at this fancy restaurant.”
When it comes to making decisions, humans are built to be autonomous. We thrive on our ability to make our own choices, do our own actions, and be who we want to be without judgement from others.
In his book, “Instant Influence,” Michael Pantalon describes a normal human characteristic known as autonomy reinforcement.
The principle behind autonomy reinforcement is exactly what we described above: the ability for a person to make their own decisions.
It feels good to make a choice and see it through, doesn’t it?
Yet, when somebody else makes a decision for us, or forces us into a situation where we “have” to go along, it can feel like being trapped!
This phenomenon is also discussed in Daniel H Pink’s book, “Drive,” wherein he applies this same principle in business and entrepreneurship.
He provides solutions to companies whose employees feel less like humans and more like numbers in a machine.
And it’s easily solved with one word: Autonomy.
This single word will seem like a superpower once you understand how to use it.
If you keep reading, I promise it’ll be worth it.
Of course, you are free to decide to continue reading and learn something new that could change your life… or you can leave this blog and miss out on some incredible information.
And since you are still here, let’s dive in to a better understanding of how we can use this autonomy reinforcement to improve our life.
How This Ties into NLP
You probably already know that by reading this article you’ve made the internal intention of self-improvement, haven’t you?
Because personal development is all about your personal improvement & Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is about replicating excellence, then it can be easy to understand how the principles of NLP can create powerful results for your own gain.
NLP is about replicating excellence.
The premise of the name, Neuro - Linguistic - Programming, is that our neurology and psychology can be influenced and changed with the introduction of language.
By changing your language (internal and external) or through conversational means (storytelling & metaphor) you can create powerful changes to the quality of your life.
f you are probably thinking, “Yeah sure... ok,” … we get it. That’s a perfectly fine starting point.
But if you are like so many others, who focus on skill building, you might be thinking, “How can I learn this?!”
Rest assured, you’re in the right place. And since you are the kind of person who is open and receptive towards new ways of thinking, you can now sit back, relax, and get ready to learn something really cool!
So what is a “language pattern” and why does it matter?
Dr. Milton H. Erickson is considered the Godfather of modern day hypnotherapy.
He had this weird way of just talking to people… hypnotically… and in just one session he’d often cure people of phobias, fears, sleep problems, relationship problems - you name it!
Milton Erickson was one of the therapists that NLP was modeled after. The other two were Fritz Perls, the creator of Gestalt Therapy, and Virginia Satir, a family therapist.
The founders of NLP, John Grinder and Richard Bandler, noticed that Erickson had a particular way of using language.
They found the changes in Erickson’s patients were congruent with the language patterns he would use in therapy.
Grinder and Bander discovered that by using Erickson’s language patterns, they too could create the same kinds of shifts in other people.
This is where the foundation of NLP was born.
If you model success - you have a greater chance of success.
By modeling the internal and external language usage and by mimicking the behaviors and habits, you will be able to replicate someone else’s success… or at least meaningfully improve your results!
Language Patterns are one of the key components that hypnotists, coaches, therapists, and NLP facilitators use around the world in order to create rapid and powerful changes in themselves and their clients.
Reinforcing Autonomy is Key to This Pattern
Today’s language pattern is all about the understanding of autonomy and how you can help other people make better decisions without directly telling them what to do!
“A power so strong it could only be used for either good or evil!”
You see, it’s completely up to you to take this information and use it to improve your life or you could ignore it and keep living the same way you have been.
It’s not up to me to make the decision for you because it’s entirely your choice what you do with this information, isn’t it?
Did you notice what I did?
Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t…
If you are like most people though, you probably read the last few statements and didn’t think anything of it - however you became intrigued to learn more.
Language patterns work because we bypass something called the “critical faculty” of the mind.
The critical faculty is like the firewall of your brain - it helps you decide what should or shouldn’t get through to the deeper realms of your internal being.
Like if I told you, for example, right outside of your door was a giant alien who wanted to give you a purple dog as a gift... you probably know deep down there isn’t such a thing actually there.
This is your critical faculty kicking in. You know the idea is absurd, so your brain interrupts your acceptance of the idea. You don’t unconsciously accept this as true.
However, the best thing about language patterns is that they work because they slip past the critical faculty without any alarms, alerts, or signals of potential linguistic red flags going off.
This is partly why Milton Erickson was easily able to help people produce incredible results in their life… just by talking to them.
You see, Dr. Erickson knew that he couldn’t be the one to make other people change or fix their problems.
However - he understood he could empower others instead to make the choice themselves and by doing so he would get the result he wanted.
Erickson was the master of linguistic Jiu Jitsu. And while he didn’t invent this particular language pattern, we think he would have loved it!
“Of Course - You Are Completely Free to Choose”
You don’t have to scroll back up for a moment to look at the title of this blog post…
...and I won’t tell you to look at some of the language patterns I used intentionally earlier on.
The best part is, of course - because you are in complete control - you can choose to either scroll up sooner, later, or whenever you’d like to notice the language patterns used.
You see - I’m not asking you to do anything.
I’m merely suggesting that you are capable of making the decision yourself and offering you options and possibilities.
It’s within these options and possibilities, though, that the true power of the language pattern emerges.
In the same way that Milton Erickson was able to help other people make powerful changes by giving THEM the keys and letting THEM unlock the door, the “Of Course - You Are Completely Free to Choose” language pattern gives the other person affirmation that THEY are in control and some of the options within their control are readily available.
In essence, you are giving them the power to choose but within the confines of the options you suggest.
It’s entirely up to you to choose how you want to use this information to improve your life and it’s completely up to you when you start to use it.
Since you have the power to decide for yourself, how else can you use this language pattern in your everyday life?
Before we end this conversation, here are some variations on the pattern that you’re free to look over and consider how you want to use them!
- Of course - because you are in complete control...
- It’s completely up to you…
- It’s entirely your choice...
- You probably already know you are free to choose…
- Since you have the power to decide for yourself…
- Because you are the kind of person who makes good decisions…
Thanks for reading, and of course you’re completely free to have a blast using this language pattern to make your life better!